Friday, April 07, 2006

Alliterative Abbreviated Alternative Biblical Genesis in 'O'
A literary Onanism inspired, appropriately, by the Organization known as OULIPO.

Foreward
Let it be known that every word occuring in the following Genesis not only begins with the letter 'o', but is also defined within the pages of Webster's Third Unabridged Dictionary. Alliterative Abbreviated Alternative Biblical Genesis in 'O' is no less metaphysically informative than any creation myth and it posesses the virtues of brevity, irreverence, and a very well-chosen alliterative vowel. It has been thoughtfully speculated that at least three more distinct, non-trivial and wholly meritorious versions of alliterative abbreviated alternative Biblical Genesis await discovery in the 'O' pages of Webster's Third. But only one can be the first, and it's this one, the one that I wrote.
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Once, only oblivion. Od opined Odself ontic - Out of oblivion originated Od. Od orated, 'One orrery of Od's own, ole!' One orrery of orbiting orbs! Out of ore, Od organized one Onus, one Ova of Od's Orange Orchard on one orb of Od's orrery.
Od: "Oranges outlawed, Ok Onus? Ok Ova?
Onus, Ova: Ok, Od. (Oy?)
Oh Oh! - Od ostensibly overlooked origination of one other: outspoken Ophidian. Ophidian outsmarted Ova, offered Ova orange over Ophidian's outlandish oratory. Ova ok'd. Ova offered Onus orange - obviously offered Onus one outrageous orgy - overcame Onus's Od-fear obliquely. Onus ok'd one orange only, once orgy over. Onset of orgy..
Onus:'oh Ova!
Ova: 'Oh Onus - outstanding!'
Onus, Ova "..Oooh Od! Ooooooh OOOOd!"
Onus orgasmed oblivious of ogling Od, 'Oooh..Oddamn! Oddamn! Oooh!.. ..ok, one other one!'
Outraged, Offended, Od ordered Onus, Ova outcasts of Od's orangery. Origin of ow.
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Now let the priests, scholars and commoners debate their exegeses.